The lack of self-love is an epidemic that continues to run through the adolescents and adult women population. The question that needs to be asked is: why would you want to hurt yourself? Why wouldn’t you want the best for yourself? Don’t you want to be great? It is hard for me to relate because it is something I have never had to deal with, but to know people feel like that saddens my soul. I was blessed. My mom always ensured me that I was special and my joy was important. She also made sure that I knew, being kind to others could only add to my own joy and blessings.
I come from a blended family. My mom and dad were divorced in my early years of life. Other than the usual emotions and void that comes with the cliché of having divorced parents, I can honestly say that I never felt unloved. I was never left without. I had everything I could ever had wished for. Additionally, Not having to share your parents with siblings allows you to get to know them more. I watched them grow while they helped me grow. They were my parents but I considered them my friends. Being the only child, I learned to cherish my parents company. If I wasn’t close to them, especially my mom, I would have really been alone. My mom was my roommate and when I visited my dad, I was just visiting my old roommate. The common lesson was that they both always told me I was great and to never let anyone tell me different. Even through my years of being bullied, it of course dented in my feelings but I never felt less than anyone. I knew I was worthy no matter what anyone else thought of me.
Self-Love is NOT A SELFISH ACT, it is A NECESSARY ACT
The first step in building self-worth is to stop comparing yourself to others and evaluating your every move. On psychalive.org they mention that you need to challenge your critical inner voice. The critical inner voice is like a nasty coach in our heads that constantly nags us with destructive thoughts towards others or ourselves. This internalized dialogue of critical thoughts or “inner voices” undermines our sense of self-worth and even leads to self-destructive or maladaptive behaviors leadings us to feel worse about ourselves. Being able to understand why we do certain things is essential. You have to know yourself. You have to love yourself. You have to empower yourself. You have to motivate yourself. You should be your biggest fan. Have you ever heard of the saying, “you must love yourself before others can love you”…. well every bit of that saying is true.
Dear Self, Today you will shine!
With my journey of self-love, I am learning not to second-guess myself. I am learning to remain poise even when I feel defeated. I am learning to celebrate all my milestones without guilt. I am learning that not everyone is on my team. I am learning that my kindness is mine to give and I shouldn’t change that because certain people might take it for granted. I am learning that showing my emotions are essential. I am learning that patience is key to no matter what I am doing. I am learning that I must communicate. I am learning my spiritual strength impacts my sanity. As people, learning is never over. With growth, change occurs and at times you may have to renovate yourself and tweak the process. I am learning that, that is ok. You just have to always remember to do it with poise.